Rough Around the Edges

On this past season of Last Comic Standing, comedian Guy Torry pronounced his wife “bouge-etto.” This a combination of bougie and ghetto. He said that his wife will do something classy (bougie) and then follow it up with something ghetto. For instance, his wife asked for a beautiful Louis Vuitton purse for Christmas. He got it for her but, now; she keeps a bottle of hot sauce in it. That’s “bouge-etto.”

Koreans, I have decided, are definitely “bouge-etto.” For all their bowing, manners, and technology, there are a few things that just escape them.

Korea is a beautiful and modern country. The sidewalks are clean and there are computerized bus stops on every corner. The people, for the most part, are well dressed and educated. Everything looks great until you see some guy, in a well-tailored suit no less, hacking and spitting on the sidewalk like it’s a back alley in Calcutta. Bouge-etto!

Another time that Koreans let their bouge-etto out is at the grocery store. Koreans simply can not handle free samples. When the sample lady comes out, Koreans will grab two at a time like refugees grabbing the last bag of rations from a Red Cross worker. When this happens, it’s best to step back and not get in their way because you will get hurt.

Standing in line is another act that is just beyond Koreans. You have to be super aggressive to stand in line or someone will cut in front of you like it’s nothing. They won’t slink in or wait for you to get distracted. They just waltz in front of you like you were holding their spot for them.

To combat the line cutting, many places make you take a number. You take the number from a little machine and wait for your number to flash on a screen above the next available rep. This is common at banks and movie theaters.

The #1 place that Koreans really show how bouge-etto they are is at Costco. Costco is considered an upper-middle class store in Korea. This is because Costco charges a membership fee and stocks mostly higher priced import products. So, the Koreans who go to Costco tend to be fairly well-off. However, you wouldn’t know it from the way they act at Costco.

Once they are at Costco, it is a Korean free for all. They will:

Grab free samples like they are starving
Rummage through your cart because you’re foreign and they want to see what you got
and
Steal onions and mustard from the Costco food court

Stealing the hotdog onions and mustard from the Costco food court is a big thing in Daejeon. It’s really weird to watch. Here is what most families do:

1. Buy something from the food court so that they can get a plate. Maybe they’ll get a $2 chicken bake to share among four people.
2. Eat the chicken bake and dispose of everything except the plate.

3. Take the empty plate to the condiment bar and load it up with the chopped onions for the hotdogs.

4. Add about ½ a cup of mustard (or ketchup but, mustard is the most popular) to the plate full of onions.

5. Eat the mixture with a spoon.

Personally, I think it looks disgusting. Koreans, however, seem to love it. They will sit in the food court and eat plates full of onions and mustard like it’s a delicacy.

Now, the above steps were for the average Korean who wants to steal onions and mustard. There are, of course, the hardcore who not only steal onions and mustard to eat in the food court but, also manage to steal onions and mustard to take home and eat. That takes more planning but, I have seen it done.

Those who steal onions and mustard to eat at home tend to be old ladies. I’m sure others do it too but, I have only witnessed old ladies doing it. Here is what they do:

1. Wait for the line of people at the food pick-up window to get long.

2. While the clerk is serving someone else, reach in and grab a couple of the sheets of foil used to wrap up hotdogs and slices of pizza.

3. Fill the stolen foil with stolen onions and mustard.

The people that do this tend to not even bother to buy anything. So, there is no debate as to whether they are stealing or not. It really is “bouge-etto.”

Koreans do have a few things that they excel at. I am always amazed that here, stores will put unattended tables full of merchandise outside and no one steals it. In most parts of the world, those unattended items would be gone. I am also amazed by the water coolers in public places. In the US, someone would have vandalized the water cooler tucked into a corner of the subway station. At the very least, someone would have stolen the supply of paper cups. This is definitely the bougie part of “bouge-etto.

Hopefully, as time goes on, Koreans will start to lose the ghetto and increase the bougie because, right now, they are just “bouge-etto.”

** Update (9/21/2017): The LA Times published a story on September 19, 2017 about the popularity of the onions and ketchup/mustard dish at Korean Costco. So, I was almost 7 years ahead of them.

The Onion Dispenser at the Costco Food Court

The Mustard & Ketchup at the Costco Food Court

A Woman Mixing Up a Plate of Onions & Mustard at the Costco Food Court

Just So You Know...

the Man Purse is alive and well in South Korea!

Seriously, the Korean Man Purses is everywhere. Some are subtle, sorta messenger style bags. Others are out and out handbags. It's a little off putting.

One thing to remember is that here, it is considered a sign of love to carry your wife or girlfriend's purse for her. So, you do see a lot of men carrying a purse while accompanied by a woman. However, you also see a lot of men carrying a purse while they are alone or with other guys. My personal favorite is when you see a couple and they each have a purse.

The Man Purse is such a pervasive part of society that there are even different sections for men's and women's purses in stores. Man Purses are purses, tote bags, and hand bags that are relatively unadorned. This is because it would just be girly to carry a purse with grommets or buckles. In contrast, women's purses are very elaborately decorated. They are covered with hardware, bows, ribbons, etc so that they are appropriately "feminine."

And now, without further ado, here pictures of unsuspecting, man purse toting Korean men.

New Korean Name

Today, I got called "Jennipah Smell." I went to the dry cleaners to get my coats and scarves cleaned. The lady then asked me to write down my name and phone number so she could enter them into her computer. I wrote it down in English and then handed her the paper. She looks at the name and starts sounding it out. She said "Jen-ni-pah S-sm-Smell." I tried to correct her. I said Small really slowly and clearly however, no matter what I said, she could only say smell. So, at the dry cleaners, I am now "Jennipah Smell.

Trip to Japan

Luiz and I went to Fukuoka, Japan over the Chuseok (Korean Thanksgiving type holiday) break. We were only there for about 2.5 days but, it was fun.

Anyway, here are the pictures.

Ryuguji Temple and Cemetery
This shrine was built to honor a mermaid that was supposedly found nearby. Her body is supposed to be buried in the cemetery.




Kushida Shrine
Built in 757 AD

Hakata Folk Museum & Garden







RoboSquare
(The Japanese Really Like their Robots.)


Robotic Seal - It is used to provide companionship to lonely, elderly people. It is a little creepy because it acts like a little pet. You can pet it and it responds like a kitten would. The pacifier thing is actually a charger.


Robotic Dog - It acts like a puppy.


Robot that is easily customized.


This robot is commonly used in malls. It cleans (notice the duster things on its hands). Also, you can ask it for directions to stores and it will will give you directions and project a map onto the floor for you.

Quite a Life

There is an episode of Seinfeld where Jerry finds himself with someone as they break into a car. I don’t really remember the rest of the episode but, I do remember that as Jerry watches him friend break into the car, he just shakes his head and says something like “This is quite a life I lead.”

Well, this is quite a life I lead.

A few months ago, I found myself in the back of a used clothing store, crouching behind clothing racks, hiding from a crazy old lady. The crazy old lady was peering through the windows of the store, looking for me. I have no idea who she was or why she was after me. All I know is that I spent a good hour dodging that crazy old lady.

The day began normally enough. I went to church and then decided to go back to the traditional market at Daejeon Station to buy Tracy a birthday gift. I had gone the day before and saw a few things that I was interested in.

The market is very traditional. It has some weird stuff and lots of odd food sitting out in buckets and bins – nothing like you’d see in the U.S. As a result, I was the only foreigner around. I think that this was my undoing.

As I was walking down a small street in the market place, the crazy old lady grabbed my hand and started yelling at me in Korean. She then turned so that we were face to face and continued screaming. She then started to cry. She also grabbed my other hand. I got nervous.

My first thought was that she was a decoy and someone else was going to rob me while I was distracted. I looked around to see who else was there but, the only other person was another elderly woman who was selling vegetables. I looked to the vegetable lady for help. She motioned that I should push the crazy old lady down. Since the crazy old lady was old, I didn’t feel comfortable doing that. She was definitely crazy but, probably not dangerous.

I did the only other thing I could think of. I politely said “I don’t speak Korean,” and ran into a store that sells Buddhist paraphernalia. I was in the store for about 5 minutes when the crazy old lady came in, screaming and pointing at me. The owner tried to calm the crazy old lady down but, she just kept gesturing at me.

Finally, the owner came over and started to inspect me. I had come in with my sunglasses on and my hair was straightened. I took my sunglasses off shortly after I came into the store. The owner took one look at my eyes and immediately went back to the crazy old lady. They had a quick conversation in Korean and then he threw her out. He told me what the crazy old lady told him. She had said that she was my grandmother and she wasn’t following me. The claim of being my grandmother is what made the owner inspect me. I don’t look remotely like a Korean even with my sunglasses on and my hair ironed but, he wanted to be sure. When he informed the crazy old lady that I couldn’t possibly related to her because I am a foreigner and she is Korean, she told him some rambling story about us being from Hawaii. She said that is why I look Western and she looks Korean. Needless to say, the owner wasn’t buying it.

I was grateful to be rid of the crazy old lady. I thought I could then go about my business without being accosted by a 75 year old stalker. I was dead wrong.

Minutes after I left the store, I heard “Chingu! Chingu!” being yelled at me (Chingu is Korean for friend). It was the crazy old lady.

My options weren’t looking good:

No one around me spoke English

I don’t speak Korean

I was the only foreigner in sight

It was time for evasive maneuvers.

I proceeded to hop from store to store and try to hide from the crazy old lady. She was surprisingly fast for someone her age.

I finally got lucky. The crazy old lady liked to chat with the shop keepers and she was chatting with the shop keeper when I was able to slip out, unnoticed. I then scrambled into the used clothing store. This is when I hid behind the racks at the back of the store.

While hiding behind the racks, I started to ponder my situation. I decided that I was probably the only person on the planet hiding from a crazy old Korean lady who was convinced that she was my grandmother. While it can be fun to do something different and be unique, it can also be a little depressing to think that I was in a situation that made me sound entirely insane.

The crazy old lady peered through the store windows for a few minutes, until she was convinced that I wasn’t in the store. I saw the shop keeper glance between the crazy old lady peering through the windows and my crouching behind the racks a few times. She seemed entirely amused by the situation but, she didn’t give away my position. I may have felt like a complete freak hiding from the crazy old lady but, at least I provided the used clothing store shop keeper with a little entertainment.

After about 10 minutes, I decided that I was free to go. I was able to shop in peace for about 30 minutes. That’s when I heard it. “Chingu! Chingu! Chingu!” It was the crazy old lady again. This time, I decided that I wasn’t going to hide.

The crazy old lady didn’t appear to be a decoy for a thief so, I just walked around with a crazy old lady walking about 10 feet behind me, screaming stuff at me in Korean. She seemed pretty content with this set up. Surprisingly, we attracted tons of attention but, only one person questioned the situation. One old man approached the crazy old lady and appeared to telling her to stop. Since it was all in Korean, I’m not sure what he said but, he seemed like he was telling her to stop being crazy. She waved him off and continued to follow me.

The crazy old lady and I did this for a good 30 minutes more. I finally lost her when I crossed a busy street.

I’ll never know what was up with that crazy old lady. But, I’ll always remember her.

Food at the Market

Bin of Chicken Feet at the Market

Suitcases and Fish for Sale at the Market

That’s Illegal?!?!?!?

A few days ago, my students and I read the story of Daphne and Apollo. In the story, Cupid is mad that his uncle, Apollo, won’t take him hunting because Apollo thinks that Cupid is too small. So, to get back at him, Cupid shoots Apollo with an arrow. After Apollo is shot, he sees Daphne, daughter of the river god Peneus. Daphne, who is scared of people and lives alone in the forest, is horrified when Apollo starts chasing her and telling her that he loves her. As she is being chased, Daphne gets tired and calls out to her father to save her from Apollo and his scary love. Daphne is then turned into a laurel tree and Apollo is heartbroken. He ends up adopting the laurel tree as his special tree and decides to wear a wreath of laurel branches on his head.

After we read the story, we started to discuss it. I then asked the kids “What should Apollo have done differently?” When I asked this, I was expecting something along the lines of ask her to dinner, ask her for her phone number, get a friend to introduce them, etc. Basically, I was expecting a normal answer. The answers I got, however, were far from normal.

One student, MinJae, had an idea as to what Apollo could have done. MinJae, in all seriousness, said that Apollo should have kidnapped Daphne and locked her in his basement until she learned to love him.

I was very disturbed by this answer. I was even more disturbed that several boys nodded in agreement. I had to explain to MinJae why this was a bad solution. It was big news to these boys that it is illegal to kidnap women and it is illegal to lock them in your basement. It was also a shock to them that a woman locked in your basement will never learn to love you. She will simply tell you what you want to hear so that you will let her out of your basement. Then, she will either run or away or kill you.

I asked the class again what Apollo should have done differently. I thought that since we explored the issue of what it legal and illegal in dating, that I would get a more logical and less criminal answer. I was wrong.

DongJoon raised his hand. So, I called on him and was all ready to hear something vaguely courtship like. Instead, DongJoon essentially proposed that Apollo should have stalked Daphne. Now, he didn’t phrase it that way but, that was the idea. DongJoon felt that Apollo should have followed Daphne around and stood outside of her house, her work, her school, anywhere that she was. He was to keep doing this until she agreed to marry him.

Once again, I blew their little minds by declaring this action illegal. At least they were slightly more surprised that this was illegal than they were about the kidnapping and locking in the basement. So, they did feel that the basement stunt was more aggressive.

After this, we had a nice long chat about what it legal and illegal in the dating world. I like to think that I helped avert a few criminal cases in the future.

My students in about 10 years.

Jen vs. The Stove

(This actually happened back in November but, I thought I would share.)

So, there was an incident involving the stove and me. Well, it wasn’t so much an incident as a battle. Now, there are those that think that you can not battle inanimate objects but, I’m here to tell them that they are wrong.

While we were in training, we had to stay in a hotel. Since the hotel room did not have a kitchen, we had to eat pretty much all of our meals out. We did keep a few things in the room’s refrigerator but, without a stove or even a microwave, it was just fruit and stuff for PB&Js.

So, when we got our apartment, we were more than ready for homemade food. Since it was like 45 degrees outside, I decided to make beef stew. We spent about two hours getting everything ready: we bought pots and pans, we bought dishes, we went to the grocery store, and we got all of the ingredients chopped and assembled.

After that, I put all of the ingredients into a new pot and put the pot onto the stove. Then, I turned on the burner. Nothing happened. So, I tried again…and again. No matter what I did, no flame came out of the burner. Now, the stove is a gas stove and I don’t have a lot of experience with them but, I have used them before. So, I didn’t think it was me.

I decided that it was just that one burner that was broken. I then tried the other three burners. Same thing with each of them. I tried pushing every button and turning every knob I could find in that kitchen. Nothing happened.

By this time, I was pretty sure that the stove was laughing at me. It looked a little smug. I finally had to admit defeat and go looking for reinforcements.

Armed with my English/Korean dictionary, I went looking for the building’s cleaning ladies. I had met them the day before and they were friendly. I bookmarked the words “stove” and “problem” in my dictionary so, I could kinda explain and, hopefully, convince one of the ladies to come to my apartment and help.

I stared roaming the floors of the building, looking for the ladies. I was unable to find the cleaning ladies but, I did find a teenage girl. It’s been my experience that those under 18 tend to speak English the most in Korea. So, I asked the girl if she spoke English. It turns out that she did! The girl was about 14 and her name was Jenny. Since it’s creepy for adults to invite kids they just met into their homes, I asked Jenny if her mother could come and help me use my stove. Jenny took me to her apartment. I waited in the hallway while she spoke to her mother and explained the situation. Jenny and her mother ended up coming to my apartment with me.

Jenny’s mom was a Godsend! She didn’t speak a word of English so, Jenny translated. Jenny’s mom explained that I had left one knob unturned – the gas knob. The stove wasn’t working because I didn’t turn on the gas. She told me to turn on the gas when I wanted to cook and turn it off when I was done. I’m not sure what happens if I don’t turn it back off so, I do each time – just in case the building explodes or something.

Jenny’s mom was also nice enough to teach me how to use the washer/dryer. (One machine does both). I think her instructions averted a second standoff with the washer/dryer. In addition to appliances, Jenny’s mom also made sure that I knew what to do with the garbage (recycling is mandatory here and food remains must be separated from regular trash) and where to buy the required garbage bags.

After all was said and done, I made my beef stew. But, I’m pretty sure that this round went to the stove.

The Competition

I've Got Yellow Dust :(

As the title of the post says, I've got Yellow Dust. What is Yellow Dust you ask? Well, Yellow Dust is a mixture of sand/dust from the Gobi Desert and pollution from Chinese factories. After it mixes, it hops onto a jet stream and travels for a bit. When it's done, it settles over Korea and Japan; where it makes people sick.

Luiz had Yellow Dust last week and now I have it. It's not life threatening or anything (at least not for us) but, it's annoying. For healthy people, it can produce cold/flu-like symptoms. So, I am stuffy and sneezing with a sore throat and a fever. Luiz had a variation on it where he was coughing instead of sneezing and he also had chest congestion.

In March, during the last Yellow Dust outbreak, one of my students, Julia, was absent for three weeks. When she came back, I asked her where she had been. She told me "I was in the hospital!" I then asked her why. She said that she has severe asthma and the Yellow Dust was so thick, she was having very bad asthma attacks. The doctors feared that she might die during an attack so, she was hospitalized during the Yellow Dust outbreak as a preventative measure. So, for people with respiratory problems, Yellow Dust can be very dangerous.

I didn't take any pictures of the current Yellow Dust storm so, I stole some pictures from the internet. I'll try to take some pictures the next time it happens.

Yellow Dust coming from China to the Korean Peninsula

Yellow Dust Over a City

City With Yellow Dust and On A Clear Day

Our First Visitors!

We recently had our first visitors. My mom and Aunt Rosa came and stayed for almost 2 weeks. It was a fun visit. They arrived on Thursday, May 27 and they left on Tuesday, June 8. During that time, they were able to see three of the biggest cities and to take a day trip from Daejeon.

Here are some pictures from their visit.

With a palace soldier at Gyeongbok (경 복궁) Palace in Seoul.

In the park at City Hall in Daejeon

At the Folk Village in Suwon City (The Day Trip from Daejeon)

Hiking at Mt. Gyeryong

Having Korean Barbecue for the First Time

At the Aquarium in Busan

At the Sand Festival on Hyundae Beach in Busan

Now that you've seen what a trip to Korea is like, go and book your trip!

Creepy or Cute?

On Saturday, Jimmy, Brandy, Asuncion and I had a Girls' (Plus Jimmy) Day in Seoul. We had lunch, went shopping, stalked a designer from Project Runway Korea - the usual. While we were shopping in Myungdong, we came across a sight that I have never encountered before. There were multiple people with signs that read "Free Hugs." The signs were in both English and Korean. The people, for the most part, were pretty normal looking. The fourth was a guy that looked like an emo girl but, he was the exception. In other words, they looked like they probably had something else to do other than stand around a crowded shopping area and try to hug total strangers.

When I got home, I Googled "Free Hugs." Apparently, there is a Free Hugs movement going on. According to Wikipedia, the Free Hugs movement started in Australia when Juan Mann (a pseudonym) was depressed and somehow ended up being hugged by a stranger. He found the hug so transformative that he started standing around crowded pedestrian areas of Sydney with a Free Hugs sign. Eventually, he convinced others to do it too and now there are people around the world trying to convince strangers to hug them.

I can't decide how I feel about the Free Hugs. On one hand, it seems harmless and possibly even helpful to lonely people. On the other hand, it's kinda creepy.

Anyway, here are some pictures I took. You can decide for yourself whether it's creepy or cute.

The Free Hugs guy that looked like an emo girl.

Only Jimmy hugged them. The rest of us simply mocked/photographed them.

Three of the four Free Hugs people.



This guy was loud and proud with his sign. He actually posed when I took out my camera.

Adventures in Teaching: Children are Gullible!

I teach an English class where the kids are pretty low level. The focus of the class is a short reading passage (3-5 pages) and several activities that go along with the reading. The kids have to answer questions (verbal and written), write a summary, do vocabulary exercises, etc. Currently, we are reading chapters in a book called Unsolved Science Mysteries. The unsolved science mystery that we read about today is whether humans are alone in the universe or not.

During class, I told the kids that humans are not alone and that I had proof of it. They were skeptical but, I told them that I had Korean government approved proof that aliens exist. That got their attention. I then told them that I was an alien and I could prove it. They were skeptical but, asked to see the proof. I showed them my Alien Registration card.



One student, Sue, said that I made the card myself. I told her to look at the card. I pointed out the government seals and such and she declared the card real. The younger kids began to get nervous. One little girl, Kelly, started to stare at me with giant, round eyes. Kelly then whispered "I thought you were American..." I just smiled at her. One boy, Jihoon, was super excited by the news. He couldn't wait to go home and tell his parents.

It was really funny to see the kids so confused. The younger ones (3rd and 4th grade) were very nervous and starting to get a little scared. The older ones (5th and 6th grade) were excited and eager to figure it out. I decided to end it because Kelly and Michael (3rd graders) looked like they might cry or run out of the room. So, I gave Sue (a 6th grader) an English/Korean dictionary and told her to look up the word "alien." I told her the definition would solve the mystery.

Sue eagerly flipped to the definition and started to read it. All of a sudden, she yelled out "Oegug-ui!!! You are oegug-ui!" (Korean for foreign.) I told her yes and then we talked about the two definitions of alien. The kids thought it was hilarious that I was an alien in Korea. Now, Jihoon wants to come to the US so that he can be an alien too.

Anyone else want to come to Korea and be an alien with me?

Korean Pancakes

Yesterday, I made my first Korean food ever. I made hoddeok. Hoddeok is a sweet, stuffed pancake. It's really good. Before you get excited, I should mention that I used a mix. However, the mix I used had instructions entirely in Korean. So, I had to use my awesome Hangul reading skills, a dictionary, and have a middle school girl translate the list of ingredients for me. (I found the girl shopping in the grocery store.)

Unfortunately, I didn't think to take pictures of my finished product so, I am using pics stolen from Google Images.

Enjoy!

Picture of the Box and the Pancakes.


The Steps to Make a Stuffed Pancake (I didn't do it nearly this neatly.)


Close Up of the Yummy, Gooey Cinnamon-Brown Sugar Filling

Our Apartment - The Photo Tour

The Living Room
These pictures were taken when we first moved in. We now have a couch, a tv, etc.

That is an air conditioner in the corner.

The View from the Living Room


The Kitchen

We have two Kimchi Coolers and a UV Sterilizer

Looks like a cabinet...

but it's a condiment refrigerator!


Our Bedroom

View from Our Bedroom

Light Switch with Clock and Hot Water/Heat Control Panel in the Bedroom
(We have to turn on and off the hot water heater as we need hot water.)


The Guest Room
(It has two doors)




Hall Bathroom



Master Bathroom
It has a super high tech toilet.

This shower is really small and not enclosed (Koreans just let the shower drain into drains in the bathroom floor) so, we don't use it. It now has a clothes drying rack in it. Korean dryers take hours to dry anything. So, drying racks are very common.

One of two panic buttons in the apartment. The other one is in the living room.


I'll post more pics another time. There are some interesting things in this apartment that I've never really seen before.