Sad & Foreign

Many people have wondered how I am able to function in Korea without actually speaking any Korean. Well, it’s easy. All I have to do is look sad and foreign. Koreans feel so sorry when I look sad and foreign that they can’t help but find some English for me. I think it’s a combination of compassion, hospitality, and them thinking that I’m a little slow.

Here is an example of this:

Me: Excuse me, ma’am, do you speak English?

Lady at the Store: (panicked look)….아니 (No in Korean)…. 한국식으로 물건 (Way more stuff in Korean).

Me: Ummm, I was wondering if this stain pre-treater works on colored clothing as well as whites.

Lady at the Store: …한국식으로 물건…

Me: OK…for …colors? (points at the bottle and then at my black shirt) Ok?

-Now I unleash my sad and foreign look-

Lady at the Store: …한국식으로 물건... (gestures for me to wait)

The lady then gets someone who speaks like two words of English. Then, that person attempts to speak to me. In turn, that person gets someone who speaks like five words of English. Now, that person gets someone who speaks like ten words of English. Before you know it, they actually find someone who speaks enough English to answer my question.

One time, I was at a store and wanted to buy a Korea World Cup t-shirt. I asked the clerk how much the shirt was. Sadly, despite the fact I attempted to ask in Korean, she didn’t understand me. But, no problem. She whipped out her cell phone and called some 12 year old girl who spoke decent English. That kid was able to translate for me and I found out the price of the shirt. The clerk even kept the kid on hold until I left the store; just in case I had another question.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Jen’s not Korean. She always looks foreign in Korea.” Well, you’re right. I do always look foreign in Korea. But, I don’t always look sad. It is the special combination of sad and foreign that gets me around. So far, I have not found anything that I wasn’t able to do. I’ve found plenty of things that were difficult to do but, nothing that was impossible to do. That is the power of looking sad and foreign.

I tried to take a picture of me looking sad and foreign but, I'm not much of an actress. I can't do it on command. All I can do on command is look kinda dumb and foreign. Or, according to Brandy, guilty and foreign.