Best. Training. EVER!

My school is now implementing curriculum changes. Basically, they are adding more opportunities for kids to speak and debate into the classes. These changes are supposed to be pretty radical. Because of the changes, we all had to go to debate training.

On Saturday, my coworkers and I met at 7:30am to ride a bus to headquarters in Seoul. No one wanted to be there. Seven thirty in the morning is early for just about anyone but, it’s practically the night before for an English teacher in Korea.

Once we got to HQ, we went into a conference and got settled. The training was scheduled to begin at 10:00am and it started on time. The trainer was going on about curriculum changes, homework, etc.

We were all sitting there, half listening and taking notes to stay awake, when this clearly inebriated guy blows into the room forty minutes late. Usually, when someone is late, they try to sneak in unnoticed. Not this guy. He pretty much throws himself into the double glass doors to open them. Then, he yells “I’M SO SORRY THAT I’M LATE!!! I’M REALLY SORRY EVERYONE!!!” On top of this, he’s carrying all manner of bags and random assorted crap. As he was attempting to sit down in a chair all of three feet from the entrance, he starts dropping his stuff all over the place. This led to more yelled apologies. It was hilarious! No one, including the trainer, could look away. Finally, one of the people from HQ had to go over and get him quiet and organized.

As the training progressed, this guy just got funnier.

At one point during the training, the trainer broke us up into groups. We were supposed to mock one of the debate activities in front of the rest of the group. This was to demonstrate the activities to the rest of the class.

There were four groups. The first three went uneventfully. The last group had Drunkie in it. They, of course, were doomed.

We were told to start the demonstration with each group member introducing themselves. You were supposed to give your name and location. So, my introduction was something like “Hello, my name is Jennifer. I’m from the Daejeon branch.” Not Drunkie. He grabs the mic and says (in a rapper’s best East Siiide! voice) “Yo! I’m Mason from Washington STAAAATE!” This led to giggles and confusion since our school doesn’t have a branch in Washington State. When he realized this, he simply yelled (once again, in a rapper’s best East Siiide! voice) “INCHEOOON!” I never knew that people were actually this proud to represent Incheon. I also never knew that slightly dorky looking Asian guys from Washington State listened to enough rap to be able to mimic anything remotely rapper-like.

So, Mason’s group started their presentation. Their presentation was pretty standard. That is until Mason became involved. At one point, Mason tried to fight one of his teammates for not agreeing with him. The teammate, very calmly, explained that it was a debate and not everyone is going to agree. Mason wasn’t buying it. He was up in the other guy’s face for a few seconds before he finally calmed down. I guess he took the resolution of “Cats are better than dogs” to heart.

During the presentation, Mason was a mess! He kept messing with the projection screen. At one point, he tried to rip it out of the ceiling. The trainer had to convince him that it was ok where it was. Also, he was all over the trainer’s podium. I thought he was going to knock it down and send the trainer’s laptop flying. As if this all wasn’t enough, he was having a really hard time standing upright. He almost fell off of the stage several times.

Finally, his group sat down. As the trainer went back up to the podium, she froze. She then asked “Has anyone seen my cell phone? It’s a white Samsung.” One guy pointed to Mason and said “I saw him put it in his pocket.” The trainer then asked Mason if he had seen her phone. Mason’s answer was “I AM NOT A THIEF!!!” He also pulled out his wallet to demonstrate that that was all he had in his pocket. Someone then yelled “Not that pocket; your other one!” The trainer then told him “Well, someone saw you with my phone. May I please have it back?” Mason looks at the trainer and says “Why do you need your phone?” as though she must have a valid reason to want her phone back. The trainer finally convinced him that she needed her phone to check the time. So, Mason produced the phone from one of his back pockets.

After this, it was time for lunch. You would think that there wasn’t anything else that Mason could do to act like an idiot. Well, you’re wrong.

At lunch, Mason filled up eight small cups of water. He then carried them around the room trying to give them to people. I know that this sounds like a nice gesture but, it wasn’t. Mason’s method of carrying the cups of water was to jam all of his fingers into the cups and then walk around, spilling the water everywhere. Needless to say, everyone declined. After I declined, Mason said “Man, what am I supposed to do with all of this water? I feel like such a loser with it!”

I heard that during lunch, Mason offered several people Valium and Xanax. So, I guess he might not have been drunk. I’m not really sure. I also heard that at one point during the lecture, Mason was on the floor, arranging his pills into piles. Unfortunately, I missed that.

All in all, this was the most entertaining training that I have ever been to. If all trainings were this fun, no one would ever complain about them again.