My (Ajumma) Hero!

My love and respect of ajummas has grown. I recently had my honor defended by an anonymous ajumma. I was very thankful for her help. Plus, it was hilarious.

It all started when I was walking home during my break from work. As I was walking, a strange man approached me. The man started speaking to me in Korean. I have no idea what he was saying but, I could tell that it wasn’t exactly polite.

As the man was verbally accosting me, an elderly Korean woman swooped in. The lady looked me up and down and decided that I didn’t look like that type of girl. She immediately jumped into Hero Mode.

The woman grabbed my arm and pulled me towards her. She then looked over at the man and gave him a very strong, angry tongue lashing. I don’t know what she said but, she really laid into him. The lady then pulled me away and we walked off, arm in arm, in a huff. She actually walked me the remaining half block to my apartment building. I guess she was worried that the man would follow me.

When we got to the building, I tried to thank the woman. One of the few words in Korean that I know is “thank you.” So, at least I was able to convey that. The lady smiled at me and returned my bow. It was all very cute.

So, thank you, Anonymous Ajumma. You are awesome!

The man is lucky that this lady wasn't around.

(She is Keiko Fukuda. She became a tenth degree black belt in Judo at 98 years old.)

My Dirty Little Secret

When I started teaching English, I thought that I would have to learn more about grammar. I thought I would have to learn all of those little rules about participles, commas, and other stuff that native speakers never really think about. Well, I was wrong.

It turns out that I have another confession to make: Teaching English as a foreign language (EFL) in Korea has made me a worse English speaker.

I know that it seems like I would have become better at English. It really does seem that way. But, no, I didn’t. I have actually become worse at speaking, reading and writing English.

There is a logical reason for this though. I spend my days hanging out with children who do not really speak English. Yeah, we can communicate but, not in the normal way. I can’t walk into one of my classes and just start speaking normal, everyday English. They wouldn’t understand me well enough for that.

Some classes can’t even tell what language is being spoken if two native English speakers speak to each other in normal English. Those kids are very low level and need to be spoken to very slowly and very clearly. Plus, they don’t understand things like contractions or even words like “yeah” instead of “yes.”

In addition to the kids being low level, Korean and English have very different grammar structures. This results in the kids not understanding sentences sometimes. It’s just backwards to them. Also, Korean doesn’t really use articles. So, nothing like “the” or “a.” This leads to the kids either not using articles or using them improperly.

You can see how I have to speak differently to the kids. I have to speak very slowly, very clearly, and, sometimes, I have to change the sentences to get the kids to understand me. This leads to conversations like this:

Student: Teacher, I no do homework today.

Me: Why didn’t you do your homework?

Student: Uhhhh....(blank stare)

Me: Why you no do homework?

Student: Oh, I busy. I go to grandmother’s house.

Me: You have fun at grandmother’s house?

Student: Yes, Teacher.

Me: You eat good food at grandmother’s house?

Student: Yes. Grandmother cook many delicious foods.

Me: Good. Please do homework for next class.

See? Yeah, we had a conversation about the homework and his visit to his grandmother’s house but, it was not in any way grammatically correct. Every high school English teacher (cough*Priscilla*cough) is having a mild stroke right now. Having to speak this way for almost two years had made me a worse English speaker.

I have taught kids of various English levels. There was one term at my old school where I taught really fluent students. Several of them had lived in English speaking countries so, they could speak English well. Of course, they had accents (a few actually did not have any accent whatsoever in English) but, they were great. They could read, write, and speak at their grade level. That, however, only lasted for one term. Every other term, my kids have been much lower level.

I taught one class where my students were so low; all I did was teach them vocabulary. Twice a week, I would go over lists of words with them. My job was to get them used to the foreign accent and to help them with pronunciation. They couldn’t speak to me at all. I had one student, Betty who could only say “Hello Teacher!” It was cute. She would randomly yell “HELLO TEACHER!” during the class. Also, this class was so low level, the kids couldn’t even ask me to go to the bathroom. They would just cross their legs, fidget, and look at me all sad until I said “Go!” I had to learn to be on the lookout for this because they would never say a word to me.

As a result of speaking to the kids, I have found myself using incorrect grammar. I will forget to use articles or I will speak in a strange rhythm that only makes sense with small, Korean children. Plus, I have picked up some of the kids’ slang words.

For instance:

Next Next

definition: The ____ after next

example: I will go on vacation next next week.

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Last Last

definition: The ____ before last

example: I went on vacation last last week.

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So-So (This is a real word but, it’s uncommon in the US)

definition: ok

example: My day has been so-so.

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My reading and writing have gotten worse from reading the kids’ essays. I have to read their writing and go after it with my red pen. In order to edit the essays, I have to understand the thoughts behind the writing. So, I have gotten used to not only understanding what the student meant but, I now have a hard time finding the mistakes because I understand it so well. I just mentally rearrange the words and add in anything that is missing so I can understand. This makes it hard to find the actual mistakes on the page. It also makes me write things strangely. I have to edit one blog entry multiple times for it to make sense and there are still mistakes in it.

So, in conclusion, I’m sorry if I see you in the US and I speak to your strangely. It’s not that I think you’re too slow to handle a normal conversation; it’s that I just can’t shake my English teacher voice.

This is the logo and slogan for Isaac Toast, a chain of sandwich shops. Their slogan totally makes sense to me now.

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This also makes sense to me. I had to read it several times to find the mistakes.

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Side Note: I’m going back to the US on Wednesday, August 31. I haven’t yet decided what will happen to the “Jen in Korea” blog.

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Packing Myths

When I was thinking of coming to Korea, I did a ton of research. I read articles, blogs, recommendations, etc. While I was researching what to bring to Korea, I came across a few things that turned out to be untrue.

I read that Korea did not have chocolate. Well, it does. It has a large variety of chocolate. There is Korean chocolate, American chocolate, European chocolate, etc. There are some types of chocolate that you can’t find. For instance, I have never seen a Reese’s peanut buttercup in Korea but, there are many other brands to choose from. You are always able to find chocolate in Korea.

I also read that Korea does not have deodorant. Korea does have deodorant. There are men’s, women’s, roll-on and spray deodorants. Now, there are not American brands of deodorant. That is true. Plus, the deodorant is more expensive here than in the US. But, there is deodorant in Korea. If you don’t bring enough with you, you can buy deodorant here. It’s not unavailable.

Many websites claim that Korea does not have spices. This is simply not true. Koreans cook and Koreans eat. Therefore, Korea has spices. You can easily find salt (many different types), pepper (again, many different types), basil, thyme, rosemary, cinnamon, paprika, parsley flakes, bay leaves, mustards, oregano, curry, chilis, garlic, onions, and many other spices.

While you can find a bunch of different spices, you will not be able to find spice blends. This, however, makes sense. I don’t see Koreans using Mrs. Dash or Old Bay seasoning in their cooking. I assume that this is where the “Korea doesn’t have spices” myth came from.

One giant myth I read about was that Korea didn’t have *ahem* ladies’ products. This was really confusing to me. It seemed to me that anywhere that has women would have these products. But, I read this on several different sites so, I thought that there must be some sort of problem if so many people wrote the same thing.

Korea does have ladies’ products – tons of them! Just like in the US, there is a whole store aisle devoted to them. Plus, during peak shopping hours, there are clerks in that aisle, waiting to assist you with choosing the perfect product. The clerks even have these catalogues with samples of various items to show you in case you aren’t sure of what to buy.

Another product that I heard didn’t exist in Korea was syrup. This too is a myth. You can find both real maple syrup and generic, plain pancake syrup. Now, the maple syrup is pretty expensive but, it’s expensive in the US too. So, either place, you pay extra for it.

When I look back at the myths I read, I have to wonder what these people were thinking when they wrote this. All I can think of is that these people were somewhere out in the country and unable to shop at normal stores. Or, possibly, that these people were just being super picky about their brands. Yes, if you will only use a certain brand, you may not find what you wanted. Thus, you may start to think that Korea simply doesn’t have your product. In my 21 months in Korea, I have never been unable to find a general sort of product. Of course, I have been unable to find a certain brand that I prefer but, I have always been able to find a similar variation.

I like this brand of chocolate. Lotte brand products are widely available all over Korea.

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Nivea is one of the most common brands of deodorant here.

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This syrup is like Aunt Jemima or some other cheap grocery store syrup in the US.

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Superstitions

Everyone has superstitions and urban legends. In the US, we have the number 13, black cats and, giant alligators in the sewers. Korea, on the other hand, has the number four, names written in red, and fan death.

Koreans are superstitions about the number four. The reason is that the word for four, 사, (sa) is pronounced the same as the word for death. As a result, many people associate the two. So, some Koreans will refuse apartments and hotel rooms on the fourth floor. This often leads to them being cheaper. Also, some people will not sit in seat #4 in a row at a theater.

Some buildings do not label the fourth floor. In the elevator, the fourth floor will be represented with an “F” on the elevator button. Also, some buildings skip the floor entirely. The numbers will just go from three to five.

Many people here do not like it if you write their name in red ink. The reason for this is that red ink is only used for names of the dead. This is done when recording deaths in a family registry or when printing things for a funeral. It upsets living people because they are getting treated like they are dead.

Names written in red is definitely a superstition that teachers need to be aware of. Once, I was at school and wrote some kids names on the board in red markers. I didn’t know that this would be an issue for them. I just wrote their names in red because they were being loud and I happened to be using a red marker. Well, that was a BIG mistake. The kids went absolutely nuts. One kid looked close to tears. I finally got the kids to calm down by convincing them that it didn’t count because I had just written their English nicknames in red, not their actual Korean names. Thankfully, children are easily swayed.

Now, I only know of one Korean urban legend. It is Fan Death.

Fan Death is when someone dies because they fell asleep close to a fan in a hot room with closed windows and a closed door. There are a ton of theories as to why this is thought to happen: suffocation, dehydration, hypothermia, hyperthermia, etc. The people whose deaths tend to be attributed to this the most are the elderly, young children, and the intoxicated.

Many people will defend this as legitimate science. Personally, I am skeptical. Living in South Florida, with its super hot temperature year round, it seems that if this were true, it would happen a lot in South Florida. Also, it seems like sleeping in a shut up, very hot room could kill someone with or without a fan. Plus, the people who are most susceptible to fan death (the elderly, young children, and the intoxicated) are also the most susceptible people to die in their sleep anyway. I guess it doesn’t matter either way. If it’s true, people are taking the necessary precautions. It it’s not true, it doesn’t matter what you believe.

So, if you come to Korea, don’t take that hotel room on the fourth floor, don’t write anyone’s name in red, and don’t use a fan.