My Dirty Little Secret

When I started teaching English, I thought that I would have to learn more about grammar. I thought I would have to learn all of those little rules about participles, commas, and other stuff that native speakers never really think about. Well, I was wrong.

It turns out that I have another confession to make: Teaching English as a foreign language (EFL) in Korea has made me a worse English speaker.

I know that it seems like I would have become better at English. It really does seem that way. But, no, I didn’t. I have actually become worse at speaking, reading and writing English.

There is a logical reason for this though. I spend my days hanging out with children who do not really speak English. Yeah, we can communicate but, not in the normal way. I can’t walk into one of my classes and just start speaking normal, everyday English. They wouldn’t understand me well enough for that.

Some classes can’t even tell what language is being spoken if two native English speakers speak to each other in normal English. Those kids are very low level and need to be spoken to very slowly and very clearly. Plus, they don’t understand things like contractions or even words like “yeah” instead of “yes.”

In addition to the kids being low level, Korean and English have very different grammar structures. This results in the kids not understanding sentences sometimes. It’s just backwards to them. Also, Korean doesn’t really use articles. So, nothing like “the” or “a.” This leads to the kids either not using articles or using them improperly.

You can see how I have to speak differently to the kids. I have to speak very slowly, very clearly, and, sometimes, I have to change the sentences to get the kids to understand me. This leads to conversations like this:

Student: Teacher, I no do homework today.

Me: Why didn’t you do your homework?

Student: Uhhhh....(blank stare)

Me: Why you no do homework?

Student: Oh, I busy. I go to grandmother’s house.

Me: You have fun at grandmother’s house?

Student: Yes, Teacher.

Me: You eat good food at grandmother’s house?

Student: Yes. Grandmother cook many delicious foods.

Me: Good. Please do homework for next class.

See? Yeah, we had a conversation about the homework and his visit to his grandmother’s house but, it was not in any way grammatically correct. Every high school English teacher (cough*Priscilla*cough) is having a mild stroke right now. Having to speak this way for almost two years had made me a worse English speaker.

I have taught kids of various English levels. There was one term at my old school where I taught really fluent students. Several of them had lived in English speaking countries so, they could speak English well. Of course, they had accents (a few actually did not have any accent whatsoever in English) but, they were great. They could read, write, and speak at their grade level. That, however, only lasted for one term. Every other term, my kids have been much lower level.

I taught one class where my students were so low; all I did was teach them vocabulary. Twice a week, I would go over lists of words with them. My job was to get them used to the foreign accent and to help them with pronunciation. They couldn’t speak to me at all. I had one student, Betty who could only say “Hello Teacher!” It was cute. She would randomly yell “HELLO TEACHER!” during the class. Also, this class was so low level, the kids couldn’t even ask me to go to the bathroom. They would just cross their legs, fidget, and look at me all sad until I said “Go!” I had to learn to be on the lookout for this because they would never say a word to me.

As a result of speaking to the kids, I have found myself using incorrect grammar. I will forget to use articles or I will speak in a strange rhythm that only makes sense with small, Korean children. Plus, I have picked up some of the kids’ slang words.

For instance:

Next Next

definition: The ____ after next

example: I will go on vacation next next week.

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Last Last

definition: The ____ before last

example: I went on vacation last last week.

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So-So (This is a real word but, it’s uncommon in the US)

definition: ok

example: My day has been so-so.

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My reading and writing have gotten worse from reading the kids’ essays. I have to read their writing and go after it with my red pen. In order to edit the essays, I have to understand the thoughts behind the writing. So, I have gotten used to not only understanding what the student meant but, I now have a hard time finding the mistakes because I understand it so well. I just mentally rearrange the words and add in anything that is missing so I can understand. This makes it hard to find the actual mistakes on the page. It also makes me write things strangely. I have to edit one blog entry multiple times for it to make sense and there are still mistakes in it.

So, in conclusion, I’m sorry if I see you in the US and I speak to your strangely. It’s not that I think you’re too slow to handle a normal conversation; it’s that I just can’t shake my English teacher voice.

This is the logo and slogan for Isaac Toast, a chain of sandwich shops. Their slogan totally makes sense to me now.

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This also makes sense to me. I had to read it several times to find the mistakes.

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Side Note: I’m going back to the US on Wednesday, August 31. I haven’t yet decided what will happen to the “Jen in Korea” blog.

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