My Job

Often, when I speak to people outside of Korea, they are very confused about my job. It’s understandable because my job doesn’t really exist outside of Korea, Japan, Taiwan and parts of China.

Most people think that I am a foreign language teacher at a regular elementary/middle/high school. I’m not. I teach English as a foreign language at a hagwon or academy.

A hagwon (Korean: 학원)is a night school. Basically, parents in Korea are so hardcore about education that they feel that regular school eight hours a day and every other Saturday is not enough. They also send their kids to private academies that specialize in one subject. I teach at an English academy.

At most English academies, the kids come for 2-3 hour sessions a few times a week. At my academy, the kids either come Monday/Wednesday/Friday for two hours a day or Tuesday/Thursday for three hours a day. Once the kids are there, they study nothing but English. We teach reading, writing, grammar, speaking, and listening.

My school employs a combination of foreign, native English speakers and bilingual Koreans. It’s actually a status symbol among Korean parents to have their kid taught English by native speakers. This is because schools that employ native speakers are more expensive. Also, the kid’s accent and understanding of spoken English just comes out better.

Up until the late 1990s, Korea didn’t really have native English speaker teachers. What they used to do was just have Koreans go to college abroad, become fluent, and then come back and teach. The result was pretty bad.

People who learn a language as an adult have accents. So, you have a teacher with an accent teaching. The student would then pick up the teacher’s accent plus, add his or her own accent. Then, if that student taught someone else, that next person would get the first teacher’s accent plus their teacher’s accent plus his or her own accent. Basically, the accents were so bad that no non-Korean English speaker could understand them. Also, they didn’t understand non-Korean English speakers. All they could really do proficiently was to read and to write.

The solution to that problem was to recruit native English speakers and bring them over as English teachers. The practice is now so prevalent that there is even a special visa just for English teachers. We are all here on E-2 visas.

To be an English teacher in Korea, there are a few basic requirements:

1. Be a citizen of the US, Canada, The UK, Australia, South Africa, Ireland or New Zealand.

2. Have at least ten years of education in one of those countries.

3. Have a bachelor’s degree or higher.

4. Pass a background check.

Once you’re in the country, you have to get a medical exam for immigration. The exam is actually pretty comprehensive: height, weight, vision, hearing, blood pressure reading, chest x-ray, blood test and urine test. I believe they are checking to see if we have HIV or psychiatric medications in our systems. Before I could get my visa, I had to sign several statements stating that I was not HIV positive and that I had not been in a psychiatric facility and had not taken any psychiatric medications within the last five years. Also, I had to sign a form stating that if they found out that this wasn’t true, I would be deported.

Being a teacher at an academy is completely different from working at a regular school. My hours are 3pm to 10pm. Also, I don’t get summer vacation, winter break or spring break. Of course, I do get vacation but, it’s like working at an office. You just pick your vacation dates and then arrange it with the management.

Dealing with parents is also different. As a foreigner, I almost never speak to parents. This is really just because of the language barrier. Occasionally, I do encounter a parent that is bilingual and I can speak to them but, that is very rare. Also, since the parents are paying, they can be demanding. The majority of parents are nice and reasonable but, a few are not. A few think their “angels” can do no wrong. Or, they think their child that can’t string two words together is just so awesome that he should skip a level in English.

English academies are a huge business in Korea. This leads to a ton of competition and some strange demands on teachers. Basically, we have to be really nice and friendly to the kids (to make them like us so that they keep coming and paying) but, maintain discipline and make them learn. It’s really hard to do! After a year and a half, I haven’t really figured out the balance. I tend to be strict because I just don’t like misbehaving children and I do make them learn. I am not, however, especially friendly and fun. The teachers who are very fun seem to turn out poorly behaved classes that are a little behind. I guess it’s just looks a lot easier in the movies.

English academies are not the only academies around. Other popular academies are: math, science, Korean, art and music. There are other academies, like magic or jump rope but, those aren’t nearly as popular.

Well, that’s my job. I hope you know understand a little more about it.

This is the street I work on. I've circled several of the hagwons. There are more but, I couldn't identify them all.

Jen versus The Broom

I will never use the broom again. Never! I am done with sweeping. If you come over, I am sorry but, the floor will be gross. I’ll see what I can do with just a mop but, I don’t have high hopes for it. I won’t let Luiz use the broom either. It’s just too dangerous.

This all started on Thursday, when I had the day off. It was Children’s Day (a major holiday in Korea) so, I didn’t have to work. Luiz, however, did. So, to be productive, I decided to clean the house. That turned out to be the biggest mistake ever.

Now, to give you a little background information, let me explain about Korean brooms. They are tiny! I have no idea why they are so weirdly small but, they are. I’m only 5’3” and I am way too tall to use them. I swear that these tiny brooms are the reason why all of the old ladies in Korea are permanently hunchbacked.

Anyway, I was on my hands and knees, sweeping the dust into the dustpan when I felt the most excruciating pain of my life, all in my lower back. I felt like I was dying. Then, I just collapsed on the floor. I seriously couldn’t walk or even attempt to stand. My back would not allow my legs to cooperate. I ended up crawling to the couch and using my arms to pull myself onto it. I stayed like that for about 30 minutes.

Finally, I could move around again. It hurt and I was really stiff but, I could walk. I took some Advil and halfway finished cleaning. It was really hard to finish but, I wasn’t going to let the broom completely annihilate me.

For the rest of the day, my back was killing me! I even had trouble sleeping because my back pain would wake me up when I shifted in my sleep. It took three days for my back to get back to normal. I swear, during that three days, every time I took an Advil, the broom laughed. It knew that it had won. So, now, I will never use that evil, vertebrae breaking broom again!

The Broom
Look how small it is! Sadly, this was the tallest broom at the store. There were actually shorter brooms available.

The entire broom is only 23 inches long!

Best. Training. EVER!

My school is now implementing curriculum changes. Basically, they are adding more opportunities for kids to speak and debate into the classes. These changes are supposed to be pretty radical. Because of the changes, we all had to go to debate training.

On Saturday, my coworkers and I met at 7:30am to ride a bus to headquarters in Seoul. No one wanted to be there. Seven thirty in the morning is early for just about anyone but, it’s practically the night before for an English teacher in Korea.

Once we got to HQ, we went into a conference and got settled. The training was scheduled to begin at 10:00am and it started on time. The trainer was going on about curriculum changes, homework, etc.

We were all sitting there, half listening and taking notes to stay awake, when this clearly inebriated guy blows into the room forty minutes late. Usually, when someone is late, they try to sneak in unnoticed. Not this guy. He pretty much throws himself into the double glass doors to open them. Then, he yells “I’M SO SORRY THAT I’M LATE!!! I’M REALLY SORRY EVERYONE!!!” On top of this, he’s carrying all manner of bags and random assorted crap. As he was attempting to sit down in a chair all of three feet from the entrance, he starts dropping his stuff all over the place. This led to more yelled apologies. It was hilarious! No one, including the trainer, could look away. Finally, one of the people from HQ had to go over and get him quiet and organized.

As the training progressed, this guy just got funnier.

At one point during the training, the trainer broke us up into groups. We were supposed to mock one of the debate activities in front of the rest of the group. This was to demonstrate the activities to the rest of the class.

There were four groups. The first three went uneventfully. The last group had Drunkie in it. They, of course, were doomed.

We were told to start the demonstration with each group member introducing themselves. You were supposed to give your name and location. So, my introduction was something like “Hello, my name is Jennifer. I’m from the Daejeon branch.” Not Drunkie. He grabs the mic and says (in a rapper’s best East Siiide! voice) “Yo! I’m Mason from Washington STAAAATE!” This led to giggles and confusion since our school doesn’t have a branch in Washington State. When he realized this, he simply yelled (once again, in a rapper’s best East Siiide! voice) “INCHEOOON!” I never knew that people were actually this proud to represent Incheon. I also never knew that slightly dorky looking Asian guys from Washington State listened to enough rap to be able to mimic anything remotely rapper-like.

So, Mason’s group started their presentation. Their presentation was pretty standard. That is until Mason became involved. At one point, Mason tried to fight one of his teammates for not agreeing with him. The teammate, very calmly, explained that it was a debate and not everyone is going to agree. Mason wasn’t buying it. He was up in the other guy’s face for a few seconds before he finally calmed down. I guess he took the resolution of “Cats are better than dogs” to heart.

During the presentation, Mason was a mess! He kept messing with the projection screen. At one point, he tried to rip it out of the ceiling. The trainer had to convince him that it was ok where it was. Also, he was all over the trainer’s podium. I thought he was going to knock it down and send the trainer’s laptop flying. As if this all wasn’t enough, he was having a really hard time standing upright. He almost fell off of the stage several times.

Finally, his group sat down. As the trainer went back up to the podium, she froze. She then asked “Has anyone seen my cell phone? It’s a white Samsung.” One guy pointed to Mason and said “I saw him put it in his pocket.” The trainer then asked Mason if he had seen her phone. Mason’s answer was “I AM NOT A THIEF!!!” He also pulled out his wallet to demonstrate that that was all he had in his pocket. Someone then yelled “Not that pocket; your other one!” The trainer then told him “Well, someone saw you with my phone. May I please have it back?” Mason looks at the trainer and says “Why do you need your phone?” as though she must have a valid reason to want her phone back. The trainer finally convinced him that she needed her phone to check the time. So, Mason produced the phone from one of his back pockets.

After this, it was time for lunch. You would think that there wasn’t anything else that Mason could do to act like an idiot. Well, you’re wrong.

At lunch, Mason filled up eight small cups of water. He then carried them around the room trying to give them to people. I know that this sounds like a nice gesture but, it wasn’t. Mason’s method of carrying the cups of water was to jam all of his fingers into the cups and then walk around, spilling the water everywhere. Needless to say, everyone declined. After I declined, Mason said “Man, what am I supposed to do with all of this water? I feel like such a loser with it!”

I heard that during lunch, Mason offered several people Valium and Xanax. So, I guess he might not have been drunk. I’m not really sure. I also heard that at one point during the lecture, Mason was on the floor, arranging his pills into piles. Unfortunately, I missed that.

All in all, this was the most entertaining training that I have ever been to. If all trainings were this fun, no one would ever complain about them again.